I sit at the navigation desk and have no choice but to wait for the sound from the VHF radio station. I’m thinking about what else I could do. I bang my head. What exactly happened to me once happened to me: rudder, rudder, rudder !? I lost it on the Adriatic, but there, even without a rudder, you get to the coast later than before. Not here. That’s when I got rid of the auxiliary engine, which I mounted on the back of the boat and steered it with it somehow. That was possible then. The sea was a real treat compared to what I have out here. This will not be possible today, by no means! Even then, on the calm Adriatic, the boat spun in a circle at the slightest wave, which changed its direction. Keeping the course in the raging sea with just the engine on the boat’s spoiler is a story you can only believe behind an inn table. Rudder !!! I fight again. For a month before leaving, I was thinking of removing the old rudder and making two rudders – on each side of the boat. I could have used the rudders from the J80 boat, but the work was huge and I still trusted my new rudder, which was only three years old and I really didn’t expect it to break down so soon. If the old rudder lasted thirty years, why not the new one for at least ten years? However, I did not take into account the fact that the boat did not sail on such a sea, nor on such a wind, and even if the Adriatic Sea was ever stormy, it sailed in such conditions for only a few hours.
I light a cigarette and report via Garmin home what happened, that I made a DSC call and that I was waiting for a voice from the radio to tell me that the call had been answered. However, it doesn’t all come together so easily. I’m still behind the navigation desk, checking the AIS screens. He still can’t find anything! The antenna is at the top of the mast, so the range should be quite considerable. I feel like a poker player who had all the cards but lost the game anyway and now I have no choice but to wait. I wait and think: could I do anything else? And I know any work on the stern of the boat can only make the situation worse. A fall from a boat, an injury, anything… would only make it worse and in case I can’t find any radio connection, it would just add to this bad situation. Safety comes first now, maintaining sobriety, composure and common sense is essential to staying alive. I still have a life raft, I watch EPRIP on the wall and I still have an SOS call on Garmin. EPRIP is registered to my boat. When it activates, they will know I am alone on the boat. However: who will come the way to such distant coordinates? Only one man at a time? There are countless of these stories, in the case of cargo ships, time is money and they usually don’t pay much attention to such accidents. I remember the story of three French sailors returning from Bermuda and already on the other side of the Atlantic, 400 nm off the Portuguese coast. The boat sank, all three were on a life raft with EPRIP. Two cargo ships sailed 200 nm from the signal, but neither of them responded to the call for help, although they could have been rescued if they had changed course slightly in their direction. Their friends launched a rescue operation for which they raised money via social media, searched for them by helicopter and plane, but never found them.
To just come to me by helicopter or ship already sounds impossible. The cost of rescuing, however, would be so high anyway that I just wish I had never been rescued. I can’t believe myself, I can’t believe that what happened to me is even possible. You become completely powerless in a second. The feeling of flying so high and then falling below the possible, the feeling of a state that you can’t even understand as possible – this has now become real and you can’t change anything. If your car breaks down, this does not pose any special danger – you just get out of the car and continue on foot. I poke my head out of the boat, I hear only the howling and howling of the wind in the suffixes. It is 43 and growing. I look at the screen. I realize that all these screens become irrelevant. I can’t change anything, it’s blowing like it’s blowing! I go back to the table and set the alarm to the maximum possible range. I look at EPRIP again and say to myself, “I’m going to trigger this when the life raft is in the water and the mast is half underwater, so not yet!” Everything is wet. I cut off the electrical wiring of the station and plotters from the batteries, which will be flooded at any time, and switch to a battery that lies high in the boat, so that the water floods it only when everything is already under water.
Water pumps pump water from the spoiler and are still catching up with the water intrusion. How long it will be like that, I don’t know, I don’t trust this boat anymore, maybe it will, maybe it won’t. These boats were built so economically (sparingly) that they made four out of material for three boats. The missing quarter has become fatal for me here, and when I realize that at this point my life depends on a barge that will not withstand the force of the raging Atlantic, an alarm from the AIS sets in. One ship is east of me. I try to establish a radio connection, but after the SOS call it disappearsfrom the screen. They turned off the signal, I can’t believe it… I curse, I swear and then I curse a little more. Of course, if they don’t report, they don’t have to carry out the rescue, saying we haven’t seen it and therefore don’t know anything. Meanwhile, another ship from the direction of East Africa appears on the screen. I send the DSC again and of course – this one also disconnects. Well, I’ve already stopped cursing and I’d rather light a cigarette at the thought “smoking kills!” In 20 minutes, a third ship named Hansa Baltica appears on the screen. I make an emergency call and then after Channel 16 I start broadcasting MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY this is sailboat Lady Ivana DO YOU READ?
MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY this is sailboat Lady Ivana DO YOU READ ME?
MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY this is sailboat Lady Ivana DO YOU READ ME? Nobody answers. Over.
I start the sequence of swearing again and step out of the cabin. I look out to the sea from the cockpit and when the boat is on top of the wave, I try to find some lights around me, but in vain. The waves are too high, I can’t see anything. So I stare into the darkness and listen to the wind howling. I take the rockets out of the box and blow one up. I sit on the steps under the sprayhud, watch my “fireworks” and then hear a sound from the station: “Lady Ivana, do you here me? This is Hansa Baltica. We recived your DSC call! ”I can’t believe my ears !!! I sit behind the station and submit all the information, my position and explain what the problem is. I get the answer: “Lady Ivana, you will have to wait. I go to wake up captain. ”What else can I do while I wait ??? In 5 minutes, the captain answers in English with an Eastern European accent.
We both introduce ourselves, he tells me he sent a DSC call to Cape Verde, to Las Palmas and to Mauritania, they only answered from Las Palmas where they said exactly what I already knew myself – that the helicopter would not fly because I’m already too far from them. Mauritania does not respond, even if it did, there would be no difference, and Cape Verde as well. The captain tells me he contacted the helicopter that is currently above us, but there is no response. He advised me to try the rocket again, maybe the helicopter would just come to the rescue. I fired a rocket and just after that Captain Hansa Baltica informed me that the helicopter had turned off the signal and Hansa Baltica had changed course and was flying towards me. I watch it on the screen: it is 180 m long and 30 m wide. What I can’t believe: this big ship is coming to me ??? While waiting, I speak to the captain, who explains to me that the sea is too high and therefore it will not be possible to lower the lifeboat from the ship to come to me. He also tells me that they won’t be able to tow my boat because the sea is too high and even if I could, there wouldn’t be much left of it. I had a hard time coming to terms with having to leave my “dreams,” but I knew the captain was right. He warned me not to forget to take the documents to take something else with me, but advised me against it, as any convenient luggage I would like to take with me could endanger the rescue and my life. So I stuff everything I could into the trip, and everything that was worthwhile, into my zippered pocket: passport, hard drive, garmin, and pendants that accompanied me all the way. I put money in the zippered pocket on the left side of my life jacket and a knife in my right in case I had to cut anything. After an hour of waiting, the boat approaches me and, after three attempts, parks sideways from me. The captain demands that I cut off the storm anchor, as he is carrying the boat too fast to the west, making it difficult for his ship to maneuver.
I ask the captain, “How am I going to get on your ship?”
He answers me: “We will throw ropes at you, and you will try to catch them, and after that we will somehow pull you to the ship, we will throw you a net through which you can get on board.”
The ship is huge, getting even closer to me from the left. I put on my life jacket and seat belt, tie a flashlight around my shoulder and take a travel bag in which I have everything I have left besides my life, of course in case I just somehow get on their ship. I tell the captain that this way of rescuing sounds very easy when I sit in the cabin, but when I look out of it, the picture is completely different… And I tell him: “Now I’m leaving the radio station, see you on your ship!”
One last time I look around the cabin of my home and say to myself: “We had a good time while it lasted, now I have to leave you!” I look at the walls with tears in my eyes, there are memories of our voyage, of all the effort I made invested it in this beauty of mine, in the end I was betrayed only by the rudder. A tear dripped into the sea, which was already spilling over the cabin floor, and added another drop to my Ivana. That was my letter, I had to go. To the left of my boat is a huge ship with all the lights on. They illuminate me with a spotlight, which stops working after two minutes. The ship gets even closer, and I glide past my stern on my boat. They launch a glowing rope, which lands around their radar due to the wind and wraps around it. It became clear to me that if they failed to pull me out, I would be left alone in the water and the only thing left for me was to trym back to my sailboat where I could somehow make contact again via the station as it will definitely not go via radar. So I throw all the ropes into the sea at each end of the boat, and tie the three fenders that Ivana still overcame to the ends of the rope. The barge leans heavily along the waves and I can barely keep up with the deck. I look at the traveler and say to myself, “March! What am I going to swim with and drown because of these material things? ”I throw her into the cabin. I hear voices from the ship: “My friend, can you swim?”
“Yes, I can” I answer them, and how well, I trained swimming and water polo for more than ten years. They throw ropes that fall into the water about a meter from their ship. They throw hoops, and I wait in vain for their signal when to jump. But a voice out of nowhere. They try and try with ropes, but in vain. There was nothing I could do, the barge was already gliding past more than half the ship and I was already almost at the bow of their ship. And waiting for a sign to jump. But the sign is out of nowhere. And I say to myself, “Walter, now or never!” I stand on the bow of my boat, hold on to the genoa, hug it and kiss it: “I’m sorry, I have to go!” and I never thought this would be the last contact with my boat. The wood from which it was made was from a tree that grew in the home garden. Feeling as if you have jumped from a high cliff from which you do not dare to jump, but when you just push off and are in the air, you realize that there is no way back from here. I land in the water and start swimming towards the ship at full power, but the power of the sea is so strong that it feels like you’re not moving forward at all. They throw me a rope that lands 1 meter from me and then disappears. It was about the hair. Then another rope, again failed, then another ring. I can’t believe: how do they throw these ropes ??? Then I see a stronger man who looks completely different from the others. He throws me a rope that I catch. A feeling that cannot be described at all… The solution! He then pulls me to the net, grabs it, and lifts me onto the deck. My first sentence was, “You have a big boat!”
And he said to me, “Yeah, it’s a little bigger than yours!”
“What are you doing with this little boat on this high sea?” He asked me angrily in English with a Russian accent.
He asks me if I have any weapons with me and I immediately hand him the knife, then I turn around and watch my boat being tossed by the waves and finally hitting the bow of the ship with a cross. I hear on the radio that the captain asked, “Is the sailboat tuching the boat?” And the man replies, “Well!” They escort me to the command bridge, where I introduce myself to the captain and hand him my passport. Through the windows I watch my sailboat sail the sea, alone with the lights on. I turn around with tears in my eyes and step on the stairs. That was the last time I saw her.
They assigned me a cabin, brought me a hot meal that I didn’t even touch, and assigned me two security guards to keep an eye on me at all times. The captain gave me a pack of Chinese cigarettes, which I smoked one after the other until I fell asleep – and that was about three days later. The ship sailed from Argentina and goes to Las Palmas. Before that, however, it came from China, where it was built in 2019.
After two days, we dropped anchor in front of Las Palmas, where they had to pump oil and reload some raw materials, and I was unloaded on a small delivery boat that took me to the pier, where a car was already waiting for me to take me to the police report and where they wished me all the best. I left Las Palmas by ferry and returned to Lanzarote where I could sleep on a friend’s boat. I had to decide how I was going to get on with my life. All I have left is a black trash bag in which I have an old life jacket and seat belt, and the little things I had in my pocket. The money I had stored in my left pocket, however, disappeared along with the pocket as the jacket tore when I was pulled aboard. At that moment, I didn’t care at all, but now the situation is a little different, because I’m in a civilization where I just can’t go without money, and I can’t even return home. You will have to earn money for a new boat – I have already decided that! I was sitting on the pier, I didn’t even have a euro in my pocket, after which my friend Lolo appeared next to me. Before leaving, he gave me a sailing jacket and pants. With tears in his eyes, he threw a backpack at me, telling me that he was giving me pants, a towel, toiletries, and that he hoped we would ever meet again, as he has a flight to France today. And that he must leave. We hugged and said goodbye with tears in our eyes. Men cry too! I went to take a shower and when I was packing my things back in my backpack, I found 200 euros with the message: “Walter, that should be enough for you to return to Slovenia and earn a new boat. Then we meet again. Good luck! Lolo. “